THE LUNCHEON

THE LUNCHEON
W. somerset Maughm

I caught sight of her at the play and in answer to her beckoning I went over during the interval and sat down beside her. It was long since I had last seen her and if some one had not mentioned her name I hardly think I would have recognition her, she addressed me brightly.
Well its many years since we first met. How time does fly! We’re none of us getting any younger. Do you remember the first time I saw you? You asked me to luncheon.
Did I remember?
It was twenty years ago and I was living in Paris. I had a tiny apartment in the Latin Quarters overlooking a cemetery and I was eating barely enough money to keep body and soul together, she had read a book of mine and I had written to me about it. I answered thinking her, and presently I received from her another latter saying that she was passing through Paris and would like to have a chat with him; but her time was limited and the only free moment she had was o the following Thursday she was spending the morning at the Luxembourg and would I gave her a little luncheon at Foyot’s is a restaurant at which the French senators eat and it was so far beyond my means that I had never even thought of going there but I was flattered and I was too young to have learned to say no to a woman. I had eighty francs to last me the rest of the month and a modest luncheon should not cost me more than fifteen. If I could out coffee for the next two weeks, I could manage enough.
I answered that I would meet my friend, by correspondence, at Foyot’s on Thursday at half past twelve. She was not so young as I expected and in appearance imposing rather than attractive. She was in face a woman of forty and she gave me the impression of having more teeth, white and large and even, than were necessary for any practical purpose, she was talk about me I was prepared to be an attentive listener.
I was startled when the bill of fare was brought, for the prices were a great deal higher than I had anticipated. But she reassured me.
“I never eat anything for luncheon”, she said.
“Oh, don’t say that,” I answered generously.
“I never eat more than one thing. I think people eat far too much nowadays, a little fish , perhaps, I wonder if they have any salmon.”

Well, it was early in the year for salmon and it was not on the bill of far, but I asked the waiter if there was any, yes, a beautiful salmon had just come in, it was the first they had had. I ordered it for my guest. The waiter asked her if she would have something while it was being cooked.
“no , she answered, I never eat more than one thing, unless you had a little caviar. I never mind caviar.
My heart sank a little. I know I could not afford caviar. But I could not very well tell her that I told the waiter by all means to bring caviar. For myself I chose the cheapest disk on the menu and that was a mutton chop.

Madame wants to know if you have any of those giant asparagus,”I ask the writer”.
I tried with all my might to will him to say ‘no’. A happy smile spread over his board, priest-like face, and he assured me that they had some so large, so splendid so tender, that I was a marvel.
I am not in the least hungry,”my guest sighed, but if you insist I don’t mind having some asparagus.”
I ordered them.
Aren’t you going to have any?
“No I never eat asparagus “

I know there are people who don’t like them. Face is you ruin your palate by all the meat you eat.
We wait for the asparagus to be cooked. Panic seized me. I was not a question now how much money I should have left overt for the rest of the month but whether I had enough to pay the bill. It would be burred from my guest, I could not bring myself to so that, I knew exactly how much I had and if the bill come to more I made up my mind that I would put my hand I my pocket and with that with a dramatic cry start up and say it had been picked. Of course it would be awkward, if she had not money enough either to pay the bill. Then the only thing would be to leave my watch and say I would come back and pay later.
The asparagus appeared, they were enormous succulent and appetizing the smell of the melted butter tickled my nostrils as the nostrils of Jehovah were tickled by the burnt offerings of the virtuous Semites I watch the abandoned woman thrust them down her throat in large voluptuous mouthfuls and in my polite way I discoursed on the condition of the drama in the blackens, at last she finished.
“Coffee” I said.
Yes, just an ice-cream and coffee. She answered.
I was past caring now. So I ordered coffee for myself and an ice-cream and coffee for her.
You know, there’s one thing I thoroughly believe in, “he said, as she ate the ice-cream.
One should always get up from a meal feeling one could eat a little mere.”
Are you still hungry? I asked faintly.
Oh no I’m not hungry; you see I don’t eat luncheon. I have a cup of coffee in the morning and the dinner, but I never eat more than one thing for luncheon. I was speaking for you.
“Ho, I see.”
Then a terrible thing happened. while we are waiting for a coffee, the head waiter, with an ingratiating smile on his false face, came up to us bearing a large basket full of huge peaches. They had the blush of an innocent girl; they had a rich tone of an Italian landscape. But surely peaches were not in season then. Lord knew that they cost. I knew too-a little later, for my guest, going on with her conversation, absentmindedly took one.
You see you’ve filled your stomach with a lot of meat- my one miserable little chop – and you can’t eat any more .but I have just had a snack and I shall enjoy a peach.
The bill came and when I paid it I found that I had only enough for a quite inadequate tip. Her eyes rested for an instant on the three francs I left for the waiter and I know that she through me mean. But when I walked out of the restaurant I had the whole month before me and a penny in my pocket.
“Follow my example, she said as we shook hands, and never eat more than one thing for luncheon.”
I’ll do better than that”, I retorted. I’ll eat nothing for dinner tonight.”
“Humorist,” she cried gaily, jumping into a cab.” You’re quite a humorist.”
But I had my revenge at last I do not believe that I am a vindictive man, but when the immortal gods take a hand in the matter it is pardonable to observe the result with complacency. Today she weight twenty-one stone.